Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
