so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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