not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
