She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
