Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
