Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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