Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
