Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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