What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
