My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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