I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
