There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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