marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
