haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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