i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
