I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
