no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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