You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
