Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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