Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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