He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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