New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
