Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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