then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she looked like the before picture.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
