That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
