You can't special order awesome
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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