She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you had me at cake vodka
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
