Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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