how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
