There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm bleeding and have questions
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
