your thong is hanging out like whoa
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
do herpes really smell.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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