i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
