i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
