i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This is the high leading the old right now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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