I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
