Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
