whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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