just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
