Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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