Nicole vs. Life
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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