hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
