what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
