I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
