so explain again why im purple
no
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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