Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
