North Korea, Best Korea!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
