i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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