So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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