I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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