he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
His nipple licking is glorious
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