I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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