i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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