I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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