My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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