I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
