dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
