I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
where are my eyebrows?
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