All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You ate ashes out of my bong
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
