haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
