please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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