for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
