ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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